One question has puzzled man since the beginning of time – why are there no female garage door technicians?
Where have all the garage door repairwomen gone?
You would think it’s obvious to everyone that women would make MUCH better garage door technicians than their clumsy male counterparts, but let’s examine the relative attributes.
AGILITY: Men are less agile than women. They bump into stuff and break stuff more often – it’s a scientific fact!
SPEED: Men are faster at things like personal grooming and hygiene, but women get any job done quicker – with less hoopla.
STRENGTH: Women have been masquerading as the “weaker” sex for centuries, but the truth is they’re not. A woman can wrench open a pickled onion jar using 60,000 pounds of torque power from her left wrist; and you do NOT want to get caught standing between a woman and a rack of discounted designer shoes!
BRAINS: This one is a no-brainer. Women can think on their feet, evaluate the situation through unbiased eyes, and choose the best person for the job. Men, on the other hand, want to do everything themselves; they have problems delegating tasks to others, they have problems playing nice with others.
ATTRACTIVENESS: Yes, men finish second in the “looks” department. They’re not so pretty, so it doesn’t matter so much if they lose an eye to a flying garage door bracket, or have their upper face re-arranged by a snapping cable. Women like to look their best, so they try hard to avoid facial scars and prosthetic lips.
In conclusion, women realize that garage door repair is unnecessarily risky, inherently dangerous, and a fool’s game.
There are no female garage door repairwomen because women are smarter than men.